Happy Monday, friends.
My heart is hurting so bad, I honestly had a hard time typing the word happy.
If you do not know, we lost my mother-in-law, Lequeeta, on June 14. Read her full obituary here.
It happened so quickly, but her body just gave up after fighting stage 4 colon cancer for 20 months.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think Chris and I would be dealing with another loss of a parent so soon.
My heart is hurt. And if I’m honest, I’m a little mad.
There were no warning signs of her passing away until the day before (Thursday). Chris and I were gone on our 15 year anniversary trip to Michigan, but thank goodness we were able to get back in time to be by her bedside Thursday and Friday.
Chris and I have been overwhelmed with the kindness you all have shown us. The calls, texts, food, flowers, and most importantly prayers are so appreciated.
Lequeeta’s visitation and service were both awesome tributes of her life. She was a true servant of God and impacted over thousands of people for the Kingdom of God.
My heart was filled with pride listening to Chris talk at the funeral about his mom. She would’ve been so proud of him.
I want to shout it from the rooftops I HATE CANCER! It’s not fair. It took her too soon from us.
I feel the past few days my spirit getting angry and questioning God.
Why didn’t God heal her cancer when she had so much faith that He would?
Why did she pass so quickly where we didn’t have that last chance to have a real conversation with her and let her know how much we loved her?
Why do all of these HORRIBLE things keep happening to me and my family?
Why, why, why?
I was praying and listening to worship music the other day in my room, and a song came on that really spoke to me.
I am not even sure who sings the song or what the title of the song is.
But it said, “It doesn’t matter who you are, this world will leave you some battle scars.”
How true is this statement?!?
With Lequeeta’s passing, this is just another battle scar that Chris and I have to endure.
Does it suck? Yes, completely.
Do I wish death was never a thing? Absolutely.
But in the Bible it tells us as Christians we are not going to be free from troubles.
I know many people that have similar battle scars in their life as I do. Or some, that have endured even more horrible situations than I have.
In John 16:33 it says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Although God is interested in every detail of our lives, His ultimate plan is for us to spend eternity with Him. We cannot see the big puzzle or pieces in God’s will or eternity.
It’s not my “job” to understand everything that happens in my life.
Even though I question some things (and that’s okay to do), I know my hope is in Jesus. I know I will have many more battle scars throughout my life.
But I also know, I will continue to live for God and tell of His Goodness to others.
I will praise Him in the good times and in the bad times.
I praise Him for giving Lequeeta 20 GREAT months after her original cancer diagnosis. She only had 1 bad week after a chemo treatment, but usually chemo didn’t affect her negatively at all.
I praise Him that we were able to make some awesome memories with Lequeeta and James these last 20 months. We went to Florida, the Smoky Mountains, and even a St. Louis Cardinals game together a few weeks ago. These will always be special memories.
I praise Him that Lequeeta didn’t suffer long at all. I know many cancer patients that have laid for months and suffered through pain and turmoil. Lequeeta lived these 20 months to the fullest and I am grateful for that.
Maybe I am rambling today, maybe not. Maybe you are going through your own battle scar today and need prayer. I would love to pray for you!
Maybe you don’t know that your hope is in Jesus and you can’t seem to figure out how to overcome your battle scar. Please message me, I’d love to talk with you.
Thank you for letting me share my heart today. I was told earlier last week that I’m a very strong lady.
Believe me, I have had many cry fests and pity parties.
But I know my hope is in Jesus alone and that He’s faithful and good to me.
Please continue to lift us up in your prayers throughout the next few weeks. Our world will never be the same without Lequeeta and we are all trying to find a new normal on how to live.
Being an only child, Chris and his mom were really close. It hurts me so bad that I can’t take his pain away or do anything for him besides love him through this hard time.
My girls are crushed and so heartbroken. They’ve endured so much heartache the last few years.
Nana was the one that watched them while they were babies. She always had a special bond with both girls.
We will miss you so much, Lequeeta, but will see you again one day soon in Heaven.