Fear

Hi, all!  Happy Friday the 13th!  It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve posted, but there has been A LOT that has happened in the past week.

I wanted to give you all an update and also some specific prayer requests

I originally sat down to write this post the day after the Las Vegas shooting.  The morning after it happened when Chris and I woke up, I was just sick for those that lost their life to this horrible hate crime.  I still pray for those families that were forever changed with this shooting.

It seems like every where I turn lately, there is bad news.  The Las Vegas shooting, a baby kidnapped in Dallas, the wildfires in California, the movie director, Weinstein, etc.  SO much hurt and turmoil in the world.

In our own world, Chris and I have also had a few things knock the wind out of our sail this past week.

We learned through a colonoscopy last week that Chris’s mom had a severe tumor in her colon.  Monday of this week she was scheduled to have surgery to remove the tumor, but when the surgeon cut her abdomen open, they found a lot more cancer and tumors in her abdominal cavity, so they didn’t even remove the tumor in the colon.

NO ONE ever expected this and wants to hear the doctor say cancer!  We still do not have her pathology report back yet and are waiting on what the game-plan will be to fight this cancer.

We are trusting in God and standing firm in our faith.  This is just another trial and test to overcome.  Yes, it SUCKS, and yes, our hearts are weary, but I am so thankful for a God that walks every day with me!  Please continue to keep her in your prayers, as this will be a long battle.

Then, we found out yesterday that my nephew, Zach, has juvenile diabetes.  My sister called me really late Wednesday night and they were rushing him by ambulance to Children’s Hospital.  His sugar was at 558 and normal range is 70-110!  Julie and Matt have education classes for the next few days to learn how to count carbs, give insulin, etc.  I know it is manageable, and many kids have this type 1 diabetes, but it just breaks my heart that Zach <and all of them> will have a different lifestyle now.

All of this brings us to today’s topic:  FEAR.

I look at today’s world and I am fearful for what Elizabeth and Emily are growing up in.  This world is full of hate and evil.  Sometimes it makes me so scared and mad and I just want the girls to stay innocent and sweet and inside my house where I can protect them and keep them from harm.  From cancer.  From diabetes.  From all bad news.

However, God tells us to go out into the world.  In Mark 16:15 it says, “He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”  He also says in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

So even though this world is scary, I am going to continue to live my life to the fullest and teach Elizabeth and Emily to be the light in this dark and cruel world.  Romans 12:21 says, “Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”   I am also going to always remind them that our story is already finished.  We know ultimately that God won any battle we might face and that we are victorious through Him.  John 16:33 tells us this when it says, “”I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Sometimes I feel like life is unfair.  I am human and often ask, “Why me, God?”  Why did I just lose my dad and now my mother in law has cancer?”  My girls have seen more grief in their lives than most adults have every had to face.  But, one of my great friends shared the verse found in 1 Peter 5:6-8 with me.  It says, ” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.  Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.  Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

This verse hits home.  The devil wants us <sometimes especially us “moms”> to be distracted and frustrated, that we forget to turn to God for help.  But, God is so faithful and cares about us.  He wants us to bring to Him our cares and worries!  No matter if sometimes I just sit there and cry, God knows what I’m saying and feeling without any words.

So, if you are sad, scared, confused, mad, wondering what this world is going to come to, you are not alone.  But know that there is hope in Jesus Christ.  I will continue doing all the GOOD that I can while showing the world a little of Jesus’s love and kindness along the way.  Also, I will always cling to the cross and turn to God for every trial in my life.

I can’t help but think of the verse my dad wrote to my sister to read so many years ago when she was scared of thunderstorms.  It is Psalm 56:3~ “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  Just a simple verse with a powerful reminder of how we should live.

Hope you have a great day!  As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog.

~Jen